In my father's yard grows an extremely large hickory tree. This tree is perhaps a hundred years old, and even compared to the other hickory trees in town is quite majestic. In this tree live a number of squirrels. Now, all squirrels are fairly annoying, but one of these squirrels is far more annoying than the others. You see, this squirrel is of the belief that not only is it the king of the tree, but also of all that it can see from the tree. It is a very arrogant squirrel.

Whenever my father engages in activities in his yard that this squirrel disapproves of it berates him incessantly. It spews it's squirrely drivel at him in machine gun like bursts. It even occasionally hurls nuts at him. Once, when my father was repaving his driveway this king squirrel took it upon itself to hurl nutshells into the drying concrete, making tiny little nutshell dents in a few places. It then proceeded to chatter at it's fellow squirrels for hours on end, presumably bragging about how it had changed the world below with it's great victory.

Now, my father is a patient man, but even he gets annoyed at times. He possesses a wide variety of ballistic weapons he could easily employ against this furry little pest, ranging from the merely annoying BB gun to weapons that would simply render the little tree rat into a mixture of paste and fine red mist. However, being as he lives in town, the local authorities tend to frown on the discharge of weapons within the city limit. The annoyance factor of this extremely vocal vermin is simply not sufficient to motivate him to undertake an action that's consequences would outweigh the benefits.

My father ignores the squirrel most of the time and lets it enjoy it's delusions of relevance. Occasionally, when it gets truly annoying, he will chatter back at the squirrel in a mockery of it's own tongue. This seems to excite this little king squirrel to no end, causing fits of squirrely rage. My father enjoys trolling the little furry pest this way every once in a while, but not for too long. Ultimately it's just a waste of time to engage in debate with it and he knows it.

The squirrel continues on, believing it has won every battle and that it rules the tree. My father is generally content to let it do so. He also has not bothered to inform the squirrel that he owns a chainsaw.

I had a point. I know I did. Oh yeah, Elite PvTree